Another I'm-a-Horrible-Mother-Moment

I have never had to let a child "cry it out" like I have with Carter. Seriously, maybe 2 or 3 times total with both girls did I ever have to let them just cry and they were usually quite a bit older when it happened and I could at least take comfort in the fact that they understood what was happening. Carter....is another story. There is NO REASON why he wakes up in the middle of the night, or early in the morning, or after a 20 minute nap when he really needs at least 90 minutes. He isn't hungry, he isn't hurt, he isn't in pain...and I know all these things because in the same millisecond that I give in and pick him up, he's smiling and laughing and cooing at me. Friends (and his pediatrician) have all just said "turn off the monitor and let him cry it out" Well either he has more tenacity than they give him credit for or they've never had to listen to the way he cries. He sounds like he is in agony and I can't stand it. My stomach has been in one big knot since we got home from Spain. He has been off his schedule STILL since then. He's punishing us for leaving him! HA Bless Abby's heart, I bet he did this to her that whole week too! The latest in the string of neverending cries was this morning when he woke up at 5:45. At 6:45, I'd have gotten him up, but not 5:45. I told Chris I was DETERMINED this time, because usually after about an hour I give in and get him and then it was all for naught because what did he learn? Cry long enough and eventually Mommy will come get me. NOT the lesson he should learn. So, I was determined...it took an hour and a half. He did not stop until 7:15. I went in twice, patted him on the back and turned on his aquarium. Both times, it made him cry 10x harder than he already was! BUT....small Victory...at 7:15, he did go back to sleep. And he is asleep now. At least I can take comfort in the fact that he learned he really needed to go back to sleep. OK, just had to vent. I want to remember in 15 years that THIS was my biggest stress. I'll probably look back and laugh and say "at least I knew where he was while he was crying!"

In other news, we had Dance lessons last night. They're so cute at those. Morgan's little cheerleading class does a dance and it is a riot. Emma is in heaven with her very good friends Vic and Kamryn in her class. She is starting to look and act so old! We're working on the screaming and the stomping feet and the pouting and whining these days......oh what fun. She's starting to learn, though. Preschool is helping.

I have a lot of pictures from the last week to post, but I'll have to do that later...right now, Emma is up so its time to get her breakfast and get the day going.....and most importantly, I need to go get me an "Emma hug!!" They're the best!