Lasik

On Friday, January 2 (when the new Health Care Savings plan kicked in) I went to TLC in Castleton to get Lasik. My friend Caryn was also having it done at the same place about 20 minutes before me. We were both so nervous and kept texting each other the whole way there trying to decide who was more nervous. (She has the added benefit of having a doctor for a husband who called her in some nice drugs to make her less nervous. Cheater!) Anyway, Chris and I arrived at like 9:30 for my 10:30 appointment but I was so anxious I just wanted to get there. They did a bunch of paperwork, etc. and then took me back to a waiting area. They had so many people having surgery that day it was like leading cattle to slaughter (somewhat literally) I sat in a reclining chair totally blind after giving the nurse my glasses. She gave me some teensy tiny little wimpy Ativan pill that was supposed to make me calm. HA! I laugh in the face of your feebile attempts at calm. I was SO nervous. They put numbing drops in my eyes, then antibiotic drops, then steroid drops, then more numbing drops, then about 4 other drops of things that I totally lost track of. I sat there while listening to all the other people going in and out of the surgery room and hearing this awful clicking noise. They asked Chris if he wanted to watch on the TV screen and he enthusiastically said he did. Soon, they came and said it was my turn. They led me to the surgery room and sat me down on a table much like the operating room table when I had my C-Sections. The nurse handed me a stuffed animal to squeeze and the surgeon (Dr. Lombardo) talked to me for a few minutes and then taped my left eyelid shut and my right eyelid open. He put some contraption in my eye to hold it open followed by some round thing that seemed like it was a telephoto lens for a camera. They rotated my table around to a different place and he told me I'd feel some pressure. This is the part where I was pretty sure I was going to die. Maybe not die, but at least have my eye explode into my skull. The "little bit of pressure" was pretty much comparable to a steamroller driving over the telephoto lens in my eye. Yeah, really. I start to breathe like I'm in labor...you know the really loud in and out breathing. Then the surgeon says, "OK, this is the part where you need to hold as still as you can...no talking, no moving" I freeze every part of my body. I have the overwhelming urge to blink and I didn't think to ask if I was able to blink or not. So, I'm just sure I'm going to blink and its going to cut off my eyelid or my nose or something. They tell me it will be 10 seconds and they start counting down. I'm pretty certain my eye is coming out the back of my head by the time she gets to zero and I literally let out a sigh of relief when they say I can move again. They swing me over to a different place where I started and tell me took at the red flashing light. I hear the clicking noise I had heard earlier that I now know to be the laser correcting my vision. I smell burning flesh. They tell me 5 more seconds. Then its over. They take off all the tape, etc. and start the whole process over on my left eye.

When its over, I sit up and I can see the room. I couldn't see it when I came in. It is a little cloudy like how it looks in my kitchen when I burn something. But, I can see. It is amazing. The "slight pressure" was worth it. I walk out and see my husband, and he is white. Like a sheet. They make us go in a room so that he can sit down. The nurses are all fluttering around making sure he is ok. "Can we get you a diet coke? Can we get you some crackers?" I'm like "Thanks, I'm good! The woman who just had her eyes run over by steamrollers doesn't need anything!" They laugh. Chris said that watching on the TV was a little more than he could handle. He was afraid it was hurting me and pretty sure that he'd seen a little blood. I wish I could see the footage because it would be neat to know the difference between what I felt and what was really happening.

Anyway, after we left, we drove through and got some lunch although I wasn't too hungry. Chris took me to my Mom's and put me to bed. I slept for 4 hours and woke up and my mom took me home. When I got home, I was very tired, but could see very well. I had to take 3 eye drops every hour on the hour all day Friday and Saturday. Saturday morning, my mom took me to the eye doctor here in town for my 1 day followup. She said I was 20/20 already which was unusual. I guess usually people are only 20/40 or 20/30....so I was really glad. I have had no problems at all other than just feeling like I'm wearing a dirty contact which really is a nice tradeoff for having 20/20 vision!

Anyway, that's my story! Knowing what I know, I would do it again because the results are totally worth it...but I will never tell anyone it is painless!