Rest In Peace, Bingo

June 14, 1999-May 5, 2009

We got Bingo after we moved back to Indiana after a year living in Illinois. We specifically found an apartment that allowed pets so that we could get a dog. I went for a fitting for a bridesmaid's dress for Chris' sister Stacy's wedding at a store in Rushville, and right next door was a pet store. There were 4 or 5 little white balls of fluff in the window and I fell in love. We were leaving the next day to go back to Illinois for Chris' graduation so when we got back home a few days later, I took Chris to the store to see the little fluff balls. He fell in love too!

We had never heard of an American Eskimo before but decided he was about the cutest thing ever. We picked Bingo out because he came right over to me and jumped up on my leg and licked me. It was more like he picked us! We wanted a name that sounded musical, and we couldn't really agree on a good one. Finally we thought Bingo was sort of musical since it was at least the name of a dog in a song. He was so adorable when he first came home. He had a few favorite toys and cried at night like a baby. We had to put a blanket over his cage with a ticking clock next to it. A book said that would make him feel like it was his mother's heart beat. Sounds crazy, but it worked.

That year was a hard year for us. I had a lot of anxiety and depression issues and missed a lot of work. On mornings that I would call in sick to work, I'd usually be crying and Bingo would curl up in my lap and lick my tears off of my face. He knew when I was sad and he'd be really calm for me.

Bingo lived with us through 3 moves to 4 different houses, the addition of a new puppy when he was 1 and then the loss of that same dog when he was 6. He was there when we brought Morgan home from the hospital. He was quite sure that she was his personal toy and watched us with anticipation that we were going to throw her for him to run and catch. He was there when we brought Emma home and he was there when we brought Carter home. He's been through our career changes and our tough decisions....our happy times and our sad times. He was our first baby.

Last year, Bingo started peeing on the floor a lot. Several times a day. This was something he hadn't done since he was a puppy. We knew something was up. We took him to the vet and he was diagnosed with diabetes. We started giving him shots of insulin twice daily to regulate his diabetes. A few months ago, we started noticing that he was acting strange. After a few weeks of watching his behavior, we finally realized he was going blind. He would run into things and couldn't find food when we threw it down on the floor for him. When we went away over Spring Break and he had to be boarded, he was miserable for 2 days after he came home. I think the time away had just upset him so much, he just had to rest and recuperate. Even with all of this, though, we were happy to have him around and would continue taking the very best care of him that we could. Last week, however, he tried to bite Chris one night while he was putting him to bed. We had always said that if he ever tried to bite one of us, it would be time to think about putting him down. He's snapped at strangers before, but we've always justified it by saying he was trying to protect us. This time, he was just grumpy....and possibly didn't feel well. Either way, keeping him in the house where he could possibly bite one of the kids was not a risk we were willing to take. We made the difficult decision to put him to sleep.

This morning, I called the vet and told them our decision. They said to come in at 8:30am. I didn't think I could do it, so Chris said he would. At the last minute, I decided I really needed to do it. My friend Caryn called for a totally unrelated reason and I told her I was going to take Bingo in. She asked if I was going to stay while they put him to sleep and I said I didn't think I could handle it. She told me to reconsider and said I'd regret it if I didn't as she had gone through something similar years ago. That might as well have been a phone call from God directly, because I realized then that I needed to stay with him and I'm so very glad I did.

When we arrived, they weighed him and took us into a room. They explained how it would work and what would happen. They were very sweet and compassionate. While we were waiting for the vet to prepare everything, Bingo jumped up on my lap and licked away my tears just like he did when he was a puppy.

After the doctor came back in, he layed a blanket down on the ground for Bingo and I to sit on. The doctor simply gave Bingo a shot and Bingo fell asleep. I had his head in my hands the whole time. I talked to him the whole time. I told him I loved him and that he was a good boy. I told him to run around and enjoy being able to see everything again. I told him to go find Cammie and play with her. I told him to come find me some day when I get there because I will want to see him! It was just like how it is when watching TV in the chair and he's laying on my lap letting me pet him. It wasn't strange until I started to stand up and he didn't raise his head up to look at me. Instead, his head just was limp in my hands as I lowered it down onto the blanket. The vet had left the room and told me to take my time...so I did. But I didn't want to linger.

He will be cremated and spread in a flower garden at a Pet Resting Garden in Indianapolis. We will go there some day to see it.

We haven't told the girls yet. We will explain to them that Bingo died. We think they would never be able to understand the gravity of the situtation of us having to choose to put him down. Emma has always been scared of him and I don't think she will be too upset. Morgan has gotten a lot closer to him in the last few months since he's been more lethargic so she might be upset. Either way, we will let them know he is in a better place and we'll see him again.

As I was pulling into the vet's office with Bingo still with me, the song "I Will Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns came on the radio. I know God put that song on right then just for me.