Things I didn't know before I had kids

I tell you...it is a good thing I had kids. I was ignorant before. There are so many things I didn't know that my children have taught me. For instance, did you know that you aren't created at conception? Nope, you are in your mother's tummy from day 1 along with all the brothers and sisters you will ever have...fighting for space. Morgan informed me of this the other day when she and Emma were having a discussion about something that happened back when Morgan was a baby but before Emma was born. Morgan told me that she was really little and "Emma and Carter were still in your belly" I tried to explain to her that that wasn't the way it worked necessarily, but good thought. She wanted more information. Oh great. So, I see what kind of accurate but vague information I can give her without her asking for more. She says "if we weren't already in your belly, then how did we get there?" so I answer "well, mommies are born with eggs in their tummies and daddies are born with something called sperm in their bodies and when mommies and daddies get married, the daddy puts his sperm in the mommy and it makes her egg grow into a baby!" Morgan's reaction "ooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, then how does the daddy's sperm get into the mommy's tummy?" *long pause* "Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other and get married, and decide they are ready to have a baby, and they love each other...and they're married....and they're old enough....really, really old....they do something calling having sex and that puts the daddy's sperm into the mommy's tummy and then the baby grows and grows and comes out 9 months later...but only when they're old and only when they're married and only when they really love each other...and they're married" Think that ought to do it? Last night at dinner, I was laying in the living room listening to Morgan explain this theory to her father. "Daddy, did you know that right now I have eggs in my tummy? and some day I will have a baby? but if I fall down and hurt myself the eggs will crack and come out of my belly button?!" Ok, so scratch OB/GYN off the list of things that Morgan will grow up to become.

The next thing I didn't know before having kids is that you can grow Arby's roast beef sandwiches. Yes! You didn't know that either?? I can't believe it. Yes, according to Emma, if you plant those little seeds on top of the sandwich you see in the picture below, a whole crop of Arby's roast beef sandwiches will pop up in the spring! "We even have some dirt in the back yard where I could plant them, Mommy!"
If you look closely, you can even see where she went ahead and picked a couple of the seeds off so she could plant them later when it warms up. So, scratch botanist off the list of things Emma will probably grow up to become!