A Scene With 3 Children

I love my children.  Truly.  There has never been a love more intense than the love of your children.  Other than my husband, there is just about no one else that I care to know every minute detail of their lives than theirs.  I remember my mom saying once that of all the things she missed about her mother when she passed away, she missed not having her to talk to the most.  Because whoever you are talking to in life, there is always going to be some subject matter you bring up that they are not going to want to hear about or care the foggiest about....but to your mother, nothing is in that category.  Mothers want to hear EVERYTHING their child has to say about their lives. (well, at least when it doesn't revolve around how their lives are over because you didn't buy them those shoes)

Having said all of that, there are times when my children are talking (usually ALL AT ONCE) that I find myself daydreaming about what it would be like to jam sharp, pointy objects into my ears and the instant silence that would provide.

This afternoon was one such occurrence.  Carter was sleeping, Emma has having quiet time watching a show, and Morgan was at school.  For a full 30 minutes, all was calm.  Then, Morgan got off the bus and Carter woke up and Emma was done with quiet time.  Suddenly, they were all talking and they all wanted to talk to ME!  I listen with as much pretend excitement as I can muster for as long as I can.  Then, I have a genius idea.  I can go outside for a minute to get the mail.  I'll sneak out so they don't see me because if they see me, they'll want to come with me.

Me:  *ever so gingerly, easing the door closed so as not to alert anyone to its closing*
Carter: *face pressed against the glass* MOMMY! DOING?
Me: Getting the mail, buddy, be right back.
Carter:  MAIL?!?!  I GET MAIL???
Me:  No, close the door, please.  I'll get it.
Carter:  NO MOMMY! I GET MAIL??
Me: *getting slightly firmer* Mommy will get the mail.  Please close the door.
Carter: *closes door, presses face back against the glass*
3 seconds pass
Morgan:  *opening door* Mommy?? Why are you outside?
Me: Just getting the mail, please close the door.
Morgan: *pulling the door a little bit closed but still cracked enough to yell out of it* Can I get the mail?
Me: No thanks, I would like to get the mail, please close the door.
Morgan: *pulls door a millimeter further towards closed but still not all of the way*
Me:  *firmly* Close the door, please!
Morgan:  *closes door, still watching me*
Carter: *face still pressed against glass*
5 seconds pass.
Emma: *opens door and yells* MOMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE??
Me: Just getting the mail, honey. Please close the door.
Emma: Can I get the mail, Mommy?"
Me:  No thanks, I will.  Please close the door.
Carter: I OUT, I PLAY?
Me: No Carter, Emma PLEASE CLOSE THE DOOR!
Emma: *once again barely moves the door* Why do you have to get the mail? I never get to get the mail!
Me: Emma, I am going to get the mail and the discussion is over. Now, close the door!!!!!!!
Emma: *pouts and closes door*
Carter: *face pressed against glass* MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY
Morgan: *watching me while pouting*
Emma: *watching me while pouting*

aaaaaand scene.

Guess I better keep reading!

My children have been driving me batty lately. Not in an "oh well, they're just kids" way either. Like in a "oh my God, they're destined to become sociopaths" way. I know it doesn't help that school is out and Morgan & Emma have the definition of a love/hate relationship. They truly are almost co-dependent. They get on each other's last nerve 30 out of every 60 seconds and the other 30 seconds, they are hugging and treating each other like sisters should. If I separate them after one has hit/punched/kicked/pinched/pushed/you name it to the other one, the one who wasn't separated will find their way into the room where the one who was separated is and start playing. I'm like "dude, seriously, I put her there to leave you alone!" They just can't stay away.

Lately, I have felt like a horrible mother because I feel like some days all I do is yell and scold and say "no" and then when I go in to check on my kids when they're asleep and...you know, silent...I realize I went through most, if not all, of the day without hugging them and kissing them and giving them good quality attention. Despite my best intentions, I have almost caused their outbursts because they're obviously seeking attention. Then I'm really ticked since not only am I frazzled from the labors of the day's battles, I realize that I freakin' brought it on myself!!! Now, don't get me wrong. I hug and kiss them in the morning when they get up, and I hug and kiss them and tell them I love them if I leave or before bed...but is that really enough? I don't think it is. I want more attention than that, so I'm sure they do too.

So, my point in all of this, is that I know something needs to give. I need to have more great days than days where I fall into my bed in the fetal position rocking back and forth wondering what I ever did to my own parents to deserve this kind of evil cosmic joke. Today, I was in Christian Supply Center (a.k.a. Family Christian Store...for those of you who can actually call the Hoosier Dome the RCA Dome and have the ability to accept name changes) and I came across a book called "Have a New Kid by Friday....How to change your child's Attitude, Behavior, & Character in 5 days" by Kevin Leman. I was intrigued. I read a few pages. I was hooked. (I've only just now started but I'll be sure to report back with my official review)

So, the whole point to this long drawn out story is that today, I was reading my book when Emma came downstairs and came up to me and said "What are you doing?" and I said "reading a book" and she said "what kind of book?" and I said "it is a book to teach me how to be a better mommy." She didn't even pause when she said "oh! does it say to not spank our butts?!"

sigh.

(Disclaimer: I rarely "spank their butts" but often threaten to do so....hence the need for the book!!)

Your assistance please.....

OK, Morgan has come home 5 out of the last 8 school days with wet pants. Like, not just kind of wet....totally soaked. The first day, I mostly ignored it and chalked it up to an accident. The second and third days, I got more angry with her and punished her by sending her to her room when she got home for a good amount of time. The fourth through seventh days I started getting worried about other things. Could she have been assaulted? (experts always say that is a sign to watch for) Could she have a urinary tract infection? Could she be stressed about something else happening at school? Today, even though I wanted to yell at her, I calmly asked her to explain to me why she kept doing this. After much prodding, she finally admitted that she is afraid of the new self-flushing toilets they have installed at school. *sigh*

I called her teacher and asked her opinion on what we should do. She suggested that since there are only 3 days left, Morgan can go to the nurse's office to use the restroom because that restroom is still a manual flushing toilet. Since there are only 3 school days left I feel like maybe she can do something special for those 3 days and we'll work on the problem this summer. But on the other hand, should she really get special treatment for something that is really an irrational fear? Her teacher said her son was the exact same way and also had the same fear of fireworks that Morgan has. Its just a loud noise thing. So, I sat down to have a talk with Morgan....I told her that if there were more than just 3 days left, she wouldn't be getting special treatment but that for the next 3 days, she was to tell her teacher if she needed to use the restroom and her teacher would discreetly send her to the nurses office. I asked her what exactly about the self-flushing toilets scared her. From what I understand, it is just the loud noise that she is scared of. I explained to her the physics of how the self-flushing toilets work (the sensor senses when you stand up and then it flushes, this is good so people's poo doesn't sit in the toilet all day and smell up the bathroom, etc. etc.) She seemed to understand. I told her that this summer, we will come to school and practice so she can get used to the toilets so that this isn't a problem again next year. She didn't like that idea, but she needs to know this isn't something she can continue on with. I told her that its OK to be scared of things but it is never OK to go potty in your pants!

Anyone with any opinion want to weigh in here? Anything I should be doing differently? Anything I should say differently? I don't want to make a big deal out of it with her, but I also don't want everyone at the press conference seeing that she peed in her pants on her first day of work as the first female President of the United States because the toilets at the White House are self-flushing!!!!!

10 things that will never get me mother of the year!

Lately, I've been pondering a few things that I do sometimes (or let my kids get away with sometimes) that don't exactly make me mother of the year material. My own mother was (and is) so organized and clean and on the ball that it makes me feel especially bad when I think about things I do (or do not do) that would make my mother cringe. Since my mother reads this blog, I guess this will be my little virtual confessional. Anyway, here are 10 things I do (or don't do) that I'm a little ashamed of!

1. I let my kids wear mismatched socks. Now, mind you, both socks are the same color but they might not actually be the same sock. But, I have 3 kids and I'm tired and as long as they look the same from someone else's view.....that's good enough for me.

2. I'm sometimes secretly glad when they say they don't want any breakfast because that means I don't have to fix it. I've never been a breakfast eater, but I do try to stress its importance to my kids. If they say they don't want anything, I do tell them that they really should eat something and I offer them several suggestions but if they still say they don't want anything, I don't make them like I should.

3. I let them watch too much TV. Its mostly educational. PBS, Noggin, Playhouse Disney, etc. but really...if they're hanging out and not fighting with each other and being quiet....I don't complain.

4. I leave their clean clothes folded up on their floor. This one is the one that makes my mother nutty. Part of the problem is that they really have too many clothes...but who wants to make their kid repeat an outfit in the same week? The girls share a room so there is very limited closet and dresser space but....admittedly, even if there were, I probably wouldn't get it done. Let's be honest, here people. I get all inspired and put them all away nice and neat once a week or so when it is driving me crazy, but then as soon as they wear them and they get washed, its the same cycle.

5. If I'm really tired, I'll doze on the couch while Emma watches TV in the morning. If Carter is napping and Emma is enthralled in Super Why or Sid the Science Kid, I'll just lay down and doze She talks to me about every 10 minutes or so, so it isn't like I'm in a deep sleep....but still.

6. I accidentally wake them up at night while I'm checking on them. I still check on my kids at night. Like, by checking on them, I mean walk in and make sure they're still breathing even if that means putting my hand on their chest or back to be sure its moving!

7. I tell fibs. I'd like to think this is a "don't we all" kind of thing...but the truth is, I shouldn't tell fibs past the whole "Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy" fibs. Example "yes, I'll come back up and lay down with you just as soon as I go downstairs to....get a drink/go to the bathroom/talk to Daddy/fillintheblankexcuse....you go ahead and lay down and I'll be back" This used to work. They'd fall asleep and I'd be home free. Not anymore. They'll give me about 10 minutes and then they're doing that loud stage whisper thing from the top of the stairs "MOMMY....MOMMY...YOU FORGOT TO LAY DOWN WITH ME MOMMY!"

8. Sometimes I leave for places WAY too early just so I can get them all in the car and strapped in. I often get to dance lessons, piano lessons, etc. as much as 20 minutes early and we just sit in the car for a few minutes. (sometimes with a DVD playing, but not always) If they're driving me especially bonkers, I'll say "OK! EVERYONE GO GET IN THE VAN!" This one might not work much longer as Morgan can tell time now! ha

9. If I'm eating something really good, I don't want to share it with them. This goes against our most primal instincts doesn't it? Aren't I supposed to want to provide sustenence to our children at all costs? Well, guess what? If I'm eating the last 2 pieces of bacon and some little person comes in and asks for one, I lie "sorry, kiddo, this is the last piece!" They're such little moochers.

10. I don't stress eating healthy as much as I should. I have grand intentions here. Everyonce in a while, I'll make them a perfectly balanced meal and they only eat 1/4 of it and I swear I won't do it again. I try to at least explain to them about healthy eating and by me eating a lot healthier these days, they're learning by my example...but still....mcnuggets and fries with a Sprite for dinner....yeah, not too healthy.

In spite of all of that, my kids are my life. I think every mother has her own little secrets that she wishes no one would find out. I would do anything for each one of my beautiful kids. They bring me more joy than anything has ever brought me, ever (well, with the possible exception of a certain handsome boy I like) When I get down on myself for doing any of these things, I tell myself I do 10 amazing things for each one of these less than desirable things. I do my best, sometimes I get tired, but their health, happiness, and safety are always my primary concern. My kids rock!

Hello.....My name is Molly.....

and I really enjoyed seeing High School Musical 3.

*Hello, Molly!*

I've seen all 3. I actually watched all of HSM1 by myself before I ever even thought of showing it to Morgan & Emma. When HSM2 came out, I was secretly even more excited than the girls. I really didn't think I'd actually GO to the movie theater to watch this 3rd installment, but Chris had 2 free movie passes....so off we went. I can't tell you the last time I went to see a movie on its OPENING weekend! *sigh* The things parenthood does to us!

My cape is at the cleaners....

My friend Tia (see her blog here) was blogging yesterday about being a super mom vs. being a slacker mom. She was talking about a specific book (that I must read) called You're A Good Mom (and your kids aren't so bad either) Anyway, she inspired me to do something better for poor Emma for lunch. It isn't like I just throw whatever slop I can find on a plate and hand it to her, but I don't put a lot of thought into it since its just her and I eat something different, Carter eats something else, and Morgan and Chris aren't here for lunch. I have noticed a dramatic increase in her requests for snacks all. day. long. So, I thought maybe if I fixed her a lunch she'd eat more of, I'd get less requests for snacks. Anyway, pictured below is my creation. It is a peanut butter and jelly (Grandma's jelly, no less!) sandwich in the shape of a dog (Emma's choice...you would have thought she was picking out a name for her future child given the thought she put into the cookie cutter selection), bananas with a tiny bit of sugar free chocolate syrup and sprinkles (her favorite addition), some veggies, and whole wheat animal crackers.

Here is her reaction to seeing her plate!

She thanked me a few times for her "special lunch" and ate it up. Of course, she picked out the corn to eat leaving the rest of the veggies, but she ate everything else! So, a victory in that she ate a healthy lunch but a defeat in that she got up from the table and walked into the living room where I was working and said "can I have a snack?" Not exaggerating. Literally, 30 seconds after leaving the table. *sigh*

mental note for parenting file

and just when I thought I had mother of the year all sewn up......tonight, I let my 6-year-old child stay at a house for a birthday party even though every fiber of my being was screaming at me not to. It all turned out fine (as far as I know) She had a great time. From now on, I will at least drive by the house of the kid to see its condition before RSVPing to said party.

Geez, parenting is HARD! Or should I say responsible parenting is hard.