My children have been driving me batty lately. Not in an "oh well, they're just kids" way either. Like in a "oh my God, they're destined to become sociopaths" way. I know it doesn't help that school is out and Morgan & Emma have the definition of a love/hate relationship. They truly are almost co-dependent. They get on each other's last nerve 30 out of every 60 seconds and the other 30 seconds, they are hugging and treating each other like sisters should. If I separate them after one has hit/punched/kicked/pinched/pushed/you name it to the other one, the one who wasn't separated will find their way into the room where the one who was separated is and start playing. I'm like "dude, seriously, I put her there to leave you alone!" They just can't stay away.
Lately, I have felt like a horrible mother because I feel like some days all I do is yell and scold and say "no" and then when I go in to check on my kids when they're asleep and...you know, silent...I realize I went through most, if not all, of the day without hugging them and kissing them and giving them good quality attention. Despite my best intentions, I have almost caused their outbursts because they're obviously seeking attention. Then I'm really ticked since not only am I frazzled from the labors of the day's battles, I realize that I freakin' brought it on myself!!! Now, don't get me wrong. I hug and kiss them in the morning when they get up, and I hug and kiss them and tell them I love them if I leave or before bed...but is that really enough? I don't think it is. I want more attention than that, so I'm sure they do too.
So, my point in all of this, is that I know something needs to give. I need to have more great days than days where I fall into my bed in the fetal position rocking back and forth wondering what I ever did to my own parents to deserve this kind of evil cosmic joke. Today, I was in Christian Supply Center (a.k.a. Family Christian Store...for those of you who can actually call the Hoosier Dome the RCA Dome and have the ability to accept name changes) and I came across a book called "Have a New Kid by Friday....How to change your child's Attitude, Behavior, & Character in 5 days" by Kevin Leman. I was intrigued. I read a few pages. I was hooked. (I've only just now started but I'll be sure to report back with my official review)
So, the whole point to this long drawn out story is that today, I was reading my book when Emma came downstairs and came up to me and said "What are you doing?" and I said "reading a book" and she said "what kind of book?" and I said "it is a book to teach me how to be a better mommy." She didn't even pause when she said "oh! does it say to not spank our butts?!"
sigh.
(Disclaimer: I rarely "spank their butts" but often threaten to do so....hence the need for the book!!)
Not how I expected my morning to go
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So this morning I had to get up early for a doctors appointment but instead
of my alarm I woke up to an incredibly loud IMMINENT THREAT flood warning
and s...
2 comments:
DO NOT beat yourself up over this! I am going through exactly the same thing...except with a 5 year old who is throwing temper tantrums, hitting, and screaming. Fun. (Brian says he can imagine him behind bars some day if this continues.) I am exhausted tonight from trying to stay calm, be consistent, and not lose it completely. I too need to keep reading. I'm reading 1-2-3 Magic. I like it, but think that it is partly what brought on some of the behaviors. He is figuring out that there is a consistent consequense when I hit 3. It is a daily battle, but I'm determined to win...and spend more quality time loving my boy. You'll get there Molly! Sometimes, you have to tend the soil before you can smell the flowers! XOXO
You are a good mama! I also feel so bad when I am constantly on Ellie but then I remember that it is our JOB to be the hardass. Also remember, you are not alone!
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