A Scene With 3 Children

I love my children.  Truly.  There has never been a love more intense than the love of your children.  Other than my husband, there is just about no one else that I care to know every minute detail of their lives than theirs.  I remember my mom saying once that of all the things she missed about her mother when she passed away, she missed not having her to talk to the most.  Because whoever you are talking to in life, there is always going to be some subject matter you bring up that they are not going to want to hear about or care the foggiest about....but to your mother, nothing is in that category.  Mothers want to hear EVERYTHING their child has to say about their lives. (well, at least when it doesn't revolve around how their lives are over because you didn't buy them those shoes)

Having said all of that, there are times when my children are talking (usually ALL AT ONCE) that I find myself daydreaming about what it would be like to jam sharp, pointy objects into my ears and the instant silence that would provide.

This afternoon was one such occurrence.  Carter was sleeping, Emma has having quiet time watching a show, and Morgan was at school.  For a full 30 minutes, all was calm.  Then, Morgan got off the bus and Carter woke up and Emma was done with quiet time.  Suddenly, they were all talking and they all wanted to talk to ME!  I listen with as much pretend excitement as I can muster for as long as I can.  Then, I have a genius idea.  I can go outside for a minute to get the mail.  I'll sneak out so they don't see me because if they see me, they'll want to come with me.

Me:  *ever so gingerly, easing the door closed so as not to alert anyone to its closing*
Carter: *face pressed against the glass* MOMMY! DOING?
Me: Getting the mail, buddy, be right back.
Carter:  MAIL?!?!  I GET MAIL???
Me:  No, close the door, please.  I'll get it.
Carter:  NO MOMMY! I GET MAIL??
Me: *getting slightly firmer* Mommy will get the mail.  Please close the door.
Carter: *closes door, presses face back against the glass*
3 seconds pass
Morgan:  *opening door* Mommy?? Why are you outside?
Me: Just getting the mail, please close the door.
Morgan: *pulling the door a little bit closed but still cracked enough to yell out of it* Can I get the mail?
Me: No thanks, I would like to get the mail, please close the door.
Morgan: *pulls door a millimeter further towards closed but still not all of the way*
Me:  *firmly* Close the door, please!
Morgan:  *closes door, still watching me*
Carter: *face still pressed against glass*
5 seconds pass.
Emma: *opens door and yells* MOMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE??
Me: Just getting the mail, honey. Please close the door.
Emma: Can I get the mail, Mommy?"
Me:  No thanks, I will.  Please close the door.
Carter: I OUT, I PLAY?
Me: No Carter, Emma PLEASE CLOSE THE DOOR!
Emma: *once again barely moves the door* Why do you have to get the mail? I never get to get the mail!
Me: Emma, I am going to get the mail and the discussion is over. Now, close the door!!!!!!!
Emma: *pouts and closes door*
Carter: *face pressed against glass* MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY
Morgan: *watching me while pouting*
Emma: *watching me while pouting*

aaaaaand scene.